Problems And Insecurities


Hello everyone. So there has been a lot going on in my life which I want to share with you guys. This post is going to be long because I am tired of keeping all of this inside me and I just want to let it all out. Like when you shake the soda can and the fizz is just dying to get out…..? That is me right now. Some of these problems may seem mundane or unnecessary, but to me these are something that have been affecting me. I am not writing this to get self pity, i just want to let someone or actually let myself know, that everyone in life faces similar problems. No matter how different we are we all are insecure in one way, scared, fragile but strong too.

1st

So if you guys have been reading my blogs (which i am thankful for if you are),you might know that in my Blog 3…or 4 (I am not sure)   a very disturbing accident had happened on a family trip, not with me but with my dad. Long story short we had gone for White Water Rafting and my dad had gotten down in the river (even i had) but my dad let go and got taken away by the rivers current. me and my mom got worried. We eventually found dad. Although he knows how to swim very well just the thought of something happening to him scared the hell out of me.
Somehow unknowingly this accident has been affecting me in a way I wish it would not. I love swimming but the moment I get into the pool these days I feel as if I am going to drown. I don’t know why I am feeling like this… It is scary and irritating. I am making progress and I have been trying to swim without feeling dizzy.
Also a few days back my uncle and come for a visit to our house. He wanted to know the exact story about what happened with my dad, and mom starting telling the “story”. Although she seemed a little unaffected and both my parents were laughing while telling the story, the moment my  mom starting narrating the incident I started feeling shivery and walked away and went to my room. Just the thought of loosing my dad somewhere I could not do anything to save him scares me.

2nd

So this happened in school today. Basically in my new school I have been recognized by the music teachers a lot because according to them I sing well. Yes, I have passed Grade 3 of Vocal School and I can play the keyboard and the guitar., but to be honest I don’t think I am that great. I wish I was Taylor Swift but I am not.So today I was very surprised when my music teacher in school called me and two other children to the Recording Studio in school (Yes we have a recording studio in school). Basically in my school there are two option in music- Western and Indian. I obviously chose Western because English is my forte. We went to the recording studio and sir told us that we have have to sing an Indian song. I obviously wanted to chicken out. The main reason I don’t sing Indian classical is because of my pronunciation. I am not clear…. which I have known for a long time.  And in a recording studio obviously that will be emphasized on more. So this teacher heard the three of us sing and he commented on everyone’s but I think the comment he said on my singing was the most stinging.  This is what he said:-
“You sing well, but you need to say the words more clearly. Don’’t take this to your heart but even when you speak you are not clear.”
I was so hurt. Like come on, you can comment on my singing, but my speech?!? He literally made me feel so bad. I know he is right, I am not perfect, but it hurts when someone just tells you that the one thing you do the most in life is wrong.
I am literally gong to cry know as i am typing this.

3rd

In my new school there are all these really cool people who are thin pretty and have boys drooling over them. And here I am with my curly hair, a curvy body, and zero boys appeal. I just feel a little, well…… insecure. I know there is nothing wrong with me, that I am as normal as them. But while they are getting boyfriends, I am here getting a new album. While they post selfies on inta I post Taylor Swift and Captain America on IG. I don’t know. I think I will eventually find out where I fit in. I just hope I do find out who I am because right now I have no idea….

If you have read up till here, THANK YOU. Even if you don’t fav this post or comment just the mere possibility that someone is reading this calms me and makes me feel that maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe tomorrow won’t hold me back with the miseries of today.
“Yesterday lasts forever.
Tomorrow comes never. “
xoxoxox
Rock And Roll Girl

Blog 21

Heyyyy people!!
Today was a pretty normal day. I studied (A LOT)And as it is Sunday went out to dinner with my parents.If you guys have read my previous blog, you will know how angry I was at my dad. And then how I guilt tripped myself when I realised how badly I had hurt my dad.Well yeah, I kinda guilt tripped myself again today.
I immediately felt so guilty
2. So basically in my new school I have made this friend. She is very sweet and really friendly and it is her birthday
tomorrow. So I asked my dad if I could buy her a book for her birthday (from my pocket money of course) I thought he would refuse or say ‘No, you have only known her for a moth’ or something like that. What happened was……..
My dad agreed and said he would order it and that I didn’t have to pay for it since he knows my pocket money has been decreasing rapidly.
I felt guilty for doubting him.
So yeah I am completely oblivious to my dads awesomeness and kindness.
Rock And Roll Girl

HOW MY DAD IS THE MOST AWESOME DAD AND HOW I AM THE MOST OBLIVIOUS DAUGHTER..
1. After dinner I wanted to have an ice cream so I told my dad so. He refused and I immediately got angry. Then he explained to me that in the morning he had bought an ice cream for me which he was going to give me after lunch, but then forgot about it. So now I could eat it after dinner.
Here I am rampaging about my dad on Mother’s Day….
PS HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM! I love you!!
xoxoxo
Let’s say people were books. Everyone who comes into our lives is given a glimpse of a few of our pages. If they like us, we show them more pages. If we like them, we want them to see the unedited parts. Some people may make notes in the margins. Leave their marks upon us and our story. But ultimately, the words that are printed—that represent us as a person—don’t change without our permission.

BLOG 20 AND A HALF


Okay.........So the thing is the ‘party’ didn’t turn out to be half as bad as I had expected. The family that came for dinner were sweet and were fairly easy to talk to. The kid (who was a year younger to me) was nice and she seemed genuinely interested to talk to me.
I did not have to plaster a fake smile. Nor did I have to endure the company of people I didn’t like
The downfall was that today after the guests were gone me and my Dad had this big fight about how he always stops me from having fat filled food and I skip meals just to prove to him that I can control my diet. My Dad said he hated it when I skipped meals and I said I hated it when he tried to tell me how to be in life when he himself is no different.
In the end my Dad said he was disappointed in himself and all my anger vanished and guilt creeped in. It is rare but normal for my dad to be angry, but when he says he is disappointed or sad, then there is something seriously wrong. Thus, I went and hugged my father, told him that although I get irritated when he tells me certain things which I don’t agree on, I still respect what he says and that I love him.
Right now I am in bed, sharing all my thoughts and problems with you guys. But the thing is today I didn’t only share it with you guys, I opened up to my dad too. And I am kinda happy about that.
Good Night people
Sleep tight
Let the bed bugs bite
Hakuna Matata
Xoxoxox
Rock And Roll Girl

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Humans are strange creatures. We lie every day, in a thousand different ways. The most common lie is, ‘I have read the terms and conditions.’ The second most common lie is, ‘I’m fine.’
— Brocken Juliet
Starcrossed 2

WHITE CHOCOLATE CHUNK BROWNIES





Difficulty:- Super Easy
Prep Time:- 15 Minutes
Cook Time:- 15-20 Minutes
Servings:- 12 
Ingredients
  • 65g or ½ Cup Plain Flour
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • 100g or ¾ Cup Cocoa Powder
  • Pinch of Salt
  • 250g or 1 ¼ Cup Sugar
  • 1tsp Vanilla Extract
  • 150g or 2/3 Cup Butter
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 Bar of Milk Chocolate
  • 1 bar of White Chocolate
Procedure
1.  Heat up the oven to 180c.

2.  Pop the butter in a microwavable container and heat for 30 seconds and then stirring, repeating until the butter is melted. 

3.  Stir in the sugar, but be careful as the butter will be really hot!

4.  Then, stir in the vanilla and cocoa powder, and once they are fully mixed, add in one egg at a time, mixing well until it is all incorporated. Also, try not to over-mix so it stays nice and gooey.

5.  Then carefully melt the milk chocolate. Be really careful with this as  melted chocolate gets HOT! You can either do this in a bowl over steam, or in the microwave, but either way make sure to keep stirring it so it doesn’t burn. Add the melted chocolate to the mixture, and stir.

6.  Once that’s all mixed in, add in the flour, baking powder and salt.

7.  The last step is to break up the white chocolate bar into chunks, and stir it in.

8. Transfer the mix into a lined or greased pan. Pop it in the oven and bake for 15 minutes or until the top is shiny.

9. Then, leave it to completely cool on the side before chopping up into squares. Finally, dust with a bit of icing sugar, and enjoy! 
After Baking
1. If your brownie is becoming super hard after cooling then just pop it into a conventional microwave and it will become moist again. 
2. After cutting up your brownies you can put them in an air tight container so that they don’t become super-brick-like hard.
3. Vanilla ice-cream works very well with these already super yummy brownies!

————————————————-x————————————————-
If you want to see where I got this recipe from:-
I have made some very minor changes to the recipe, for my own convinience and I have also written down the precautions keeping in mind what I faced after baking these brownies today.
I hope you enjoy making these brownies!
xoxoxoxo
Rock And Roll Girl

Blog 20


Hey guys!!! I am so sorry that I have not been active with my daily blogs these days. Its just that I have been very busy with studies and school. 
Today there is a ‘party’ at my house. Not a party exactly, because there are only 4 people coming. But the thing is… I hate any type of gathering, unless and until it is me and my Best Friends. I hate people coming over to my house, especially relatives. I hate it when I need to plaster a fake smile on my face and act super-nice to them. Even if they touch my precious Taylor Swift CD’s and hamper with my things.
Absolutely hate that.
I will probably write another very depressing and anger-filled blog after this ‘party’. But for now I want to share some exciting things for you guys.
Today is my Grandmothers birthday. As I absolutely adore her and I also have this personal tradition of baking cakes on everyone’s birthdays,I baked a little something for her.
And I am going to post that ‘little something’ I made in my post after this…..
SO CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!
xoxoxox
Rock And Roll Girl

Wordpress


Hey guys! My WordPress is now active!
Same Blog. Same Girl. Another Website
hehe

Blog 19


May 3rd, 2016
I. Am. So. Tired. Literally I have been studying the whole evening since I got back from school as I have a test tomorrow. I am so sorry I have not been regular in my blogs. They are short and boring but I swear once my test get over, in this week I will post something exciting! Thank you so much for reading my blogs and liking my posts. Check out my previous posts please! 
Xoxoxox 
Rock And Roll Girl
May 3rd,2016
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